For the Ones who have grieved

Being kicked into emotional climax is a sure-fire way to be immediately in touch with compassion. No way out, you just have to feel it. There are moments when there is no consolation, like when your loved one dies, or exits your life in any number of ways. Like when the unfathomable happens.

How do you swim now?

Sometimes the wisdom is in drowning for a bit, ‘til you catch the thermal that takes you back to higher ground, and you remember the simple, essential goodness of life. You remember the love that has always been there.

It is in these times you know something is needed, and only you can conjure the wisdom to soothe your own heart. The world is often out of touch with this extreme, or too numbed out to feel it.

There is a force in this kind of opening. It generates a radiance that is a gift for all.

When you stop paddling, or flapping, or whatever it is that you do to keep from feeling the pain, something miraculous happens. The very thing that is needed becomes available as if it were there all the time.

Relief.

Don’t come up too quickly, yield to it, and let it show you the way. Like it or not, it's predictable.

Loss moves in stages:

  1. Denial - "If I refuse to feel this, maybe I won't know that it really happened."
  2. Anger (Illusion of control) - "I stay angry because it feels better than facing the loss."
  3. Bargaining (Hope) - "Maybe somehow I could undo it."
  4. Depression - "If I'm sad enough, maybe I could prove how much I really care."
  5. Acceptance - "Ok."

Soon (and only as soon as you're ready), you will be laughing again.